Week 2 NFL Sunday & Monday Game Predictions

Seattle Seahawks at New England Patriots

The Patriots have a new look this season with Coach Jerod Mayo at the helm and Jacoby Brissett stepping in as the quarterback. Brissett isn’t flashy, but he’s reliable, and when paired with Mayo’s aggressive, Belichick-inspired defense, the Patriots are back to winning the old-school way—grind it out and let the defense do the talking. Geno Smith will have a hard time figuring out Mayo’s blitz schemes, and Brissett will do just enough to keep the chains moving. In Foxborough, it doesn’t have to be pretty, it just has to work, and against a Seattle team that tends to struggle on the road, that formula should hold up.

Winner: Patriots — because Coach Mayo’s defense is a nightmare for QBs, and Brissett is the kind of steady hand who can manage a game and frustrate opponents.

San Francisco 49ers at Minnesota Vikings

The Vikings are handing the reins to Sam Darnold this week, which is about as reassuring as driving a car with the “check engine” light on. Darnold’s inconsistency combined with the 49ers’ relentless defense is a recipe for disaster. Meanwhile, San Francisco will pound the ball on the ground and let their defense force Darnold into those classic “what was he thinking” throws. While Darnold may have flashes of brilliance, he’ll have to be perfect to outsmart a Niners’ defense that’s been eating quarterbacks for breakfast.

Winner: 49ers — because Sam Darnold under pressure is a ticking time bomb, and the

49ers’ defense is going to make sure that clock hits zero quickly.

Sunday, September 15: New Orleans Saints at Dallas Cowboys

The Cowboys might have Jerry Jones' billion-dollar stadium, but Derek Carr has something more powerful: years of pent-up AFC West frustration. Now that he’s out of Vegas, Carr is reborn, and he’s on a revenge tour against every team that thought he was done. Plus, Kamara’s out there stiff-arming defenders like they just insulted his mama’s gumbo.

Winner: Saints — because Carr’s on a vengeance arc and Dallas still hasn’t figured out how to stop versatile running backs.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Detroit Lions

Baker Mayfield had his moment of Week 1 glory, but this week he’s up against the Lions, who are powered by a city that’s been waiting for a winning team since Motown was the hottest thing on the charts. Plus, Detroit finally has an offense that’s more dangerous than a neighborhood barbecue. Combine that with Baker’s tendency to turn into an interception machine at inopportune moments, and you’ve got a Lions W.

Winner: Lions — because Detroit’s rebuilding is more like reloading these days, and the city will riot if they lose to Baker Mayfield.

Indianapolis Colts at Green Bay Packers

Sure, Green Bay has their storied history, but the Colts have Anthony Richardson, a rookie QB who’s part man, part muscle tank, and apparently doesn’t believe in feeling pressure. He’s the kind of guy who’ll make the Packers’ defense look like it’s running in slow motion. Plus, with the Packers still adjusting to life post- Love, the Lambeau mystique won’t be enough this time.

Winner: Colts — because Richardson is running around like a Marvel superhero and the Packers’ defense is still wondering what happened to Aaron.

Cleveland Browns at Jacksonville Jaguars

Deshaun Watson may have the big contract, but Trevor Lawrence has Florida humidity and a hair commercial waiting in the wings. Jacksonville is in the sweet spot where they can outscore anyone without breaking a sweat (though literally they’re all sweating because, well, Florida). The Browns? They’ll still be scratching their heads about how they lost when Watson was supposed to be better than this.

Winner: Jaguars — because Trevor Lawrence’s flow game and confidence are at an all-time high, and Cleveland’s about to get tamed.

New York Jets at Tennessee Titans

Aaron Rodgers might be the king of anti-aging, but he’s not immune to a little Nashville voodoo. The Titans’ defense is built to mess with veteran quarterbacks, and Rodgers will be haunted by ghosts of old country songs while the Jets’ offense struggles to get past the 50-yard line. It’ll be a tough day for Rodgers, but good enough to beat the Tennessee Titans.

Winner: Jets — because Rodgers somehow survives the Nashville juju, and the Jets' defense does just enough to make sure no one scores on them.

Los Angeles Chargers at Carolina Panthers

Bryce Young is looking like a deer in headlights while the Chargers are out here charging full speed. Carolina’s offensive line is softer than a biscuit in gravy, which means Khalil Mack and Joey Bosa will be having a field day. Justin Herbert might not even have to throw more than 15 passes to win this one, especially if J.K. Dobbins is bulldozing Panthers defenders left and right.

Winner: Chargers — because Carolina’s offensive line is making Bryce Young rethink every career decision he’s made so far.

New York Giants at Washington Commanders

The Giants are trying to figure out how Daniel Jones is still the starting quarterback, while the Commanders are getting used to actually having a functional football team. With Jalen Daniels running the show, Washington is quietly putting together an NFC East coup, and by Week 2, Jones will be giving out interceptions like Oprah gives out cars. Washington’s

defense will make sure of that, and the Giants will be left wondering where it all went wrong.

Winner: Commanders — because Daniel Jones always finds a way to disappoint in high-pressure division games, and Washington smells blood in the water.

Las Vegas Raiders at Baltimore Ravens

Lamar Jackson’s Week 1 performance was like watching someone play Madden on but maybe Hall of fame mode, didn't look that easy. The Raiders will be stepping into M&T Bank Stadium like it’s their first time in the NFL, and Lamar’s going to turn it into a track meet. With the Ravens’ defense swarming like a murder of crows (too easy), it’ll be a long day for Gardner Minshew and whatever remnants of an offense Vegas manages to field.

Winner: Ravens — because Lamar Jackson is playing backyard football, and the Raiders will feel like they’re playing a different sport.

Los Angeles Rams at Arizona Cardinals

The Cardinals may have everyone assuming they’re tanking for a new QB, but Kyler Murray has other plans—like single-handedly dragging his team to an unexpected win. The Rams are still figuring out if Matthew Stafford’s arm is held together with tape, and while they’re stuck pondering, Murray will be running around like a toddler on espresso, confusing everyone from the defense to the cameramen.

Winner: Cardinals — because Kyler Murray plays his best football when no one expects it, and the Rams can’t keep up with his real-life video game antics.

Cincinnati Bengals at Kansas City Chiefs

Joe Burrow and Patrick Mahomes are the NFL’s answer to Batman vs. Superman, but let’s be real—Mahomes is more like the guy who always gets out of tight spots with some random, insane play that only makes sense to him. The Bengals might think they have a shot, but Arrowhead’s noise will turn into a full-blown symphony of chaos, and Burrow will feel like he’s stuck in a tornado of Mahomes magic. Burrow might be great, but Mahomes is inevitable.

Winner: Chiefs — because Mahomes is the NFL’s glitch in the matrix, and the Bengals can’t escape the Arrowhead noise.

Pittsburgh Steelers at Denver Broncos

The Broncos have the altitude, but the Steelers have a defense that hits harder than a Colorado avalanche. Sean Payton’s trying to justify his Bo Nix pick, but Pittsburgh’s defense doesn’t care about their opponents justifications—they only care about adding sacks and turnovers to their highlight reel. It’ll be a tough day for Nix , who’s still trying to figure out if he’s in a high school musical or an NFL game, while the Steelers grind out a win with brute force.

Winner: Steelers — because their defense will knock the mile-high air out of Denver’s offense, and Nix will be left gasping for answers.

Chicago Bears at Houston Texans

C.J. Stroud may be the shiny new toy in Houston, but Caleb Williams has something to prove. The rookie is stepping into the NFL with a chip on his shoulder, and Houston’s defense is about to find out what it’s like to chase a human joystick. Williams will be passing all over the Texans’ defense like he’s auditioning for “Madden NFL 2025,” turning broken plays into magic. Houston’s offense might put up a fight, but the Bears’ defense has been quietly solid, and with Williams at the helm, they’ll shine in the spotlight on offense.

Winner: Bears — because Caleb Williams is already showing why he was the top pick, and the Texans’ defense will be left spinning in circles.

Monday, September 16: Atlanta Falcons at Philadelphia Eagles

The Eagles are riding high after their Super Bowl run, and Jalen Hurts is out to remind everyone why he’s a top MVP candidate. The Falcons, now led by Kirk Cousins, are hoping for a new era, but here’s the thing: Cousins in prime time is like a Wi-Fi signal during a storm—spotty at best. His track record under the bright lights is rough, and this Monday night showdown is no different. Hurts will likely have the game wrapped up by halftime, and while Atlanta might flirt with one of their famous "almost comebacks," Philly’s defense will make sure Cousins’ prime-time curse lives on.

Winner: Eagles — because Cousins in prime time is a historical disaster, and Jalen Hurts doesn’t know how to take his foot off the gas.